i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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