is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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