Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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