Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
