If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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