she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize