Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
