Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
