4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
