In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
