Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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