I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
