And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize