she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
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The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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