Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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