yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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