I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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