I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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