I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
