I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
