If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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