she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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