Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
