my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize