yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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