this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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