haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am puke
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
