try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
