I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
