His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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