Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
