got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize