As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize