Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
