I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize