I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
