So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
