Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i love accidental penises.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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