If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize