Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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