Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
