I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
