omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
