You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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