I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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