I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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