So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
