I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
