the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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