So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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