He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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