Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
