God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
