she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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