fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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