My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.