Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

   I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set

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  (310): I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set http://tfl.nu/e5hl
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (446)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.

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  (781): Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster. http://tfl.nu/zgi0
  Replies (29) Good night (2270) Bad night (601)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.

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  (850): you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster. http://tfl.nu/wnb4
  Replies (25) Good night (7475) Bad night (821)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse

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  (785): so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse http://tfl.nu/82q3
  Replies (10) Good night (630) Bad night (4123)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.

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  (541): woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue. http://tfl.nu/skao
  Replies (13) Good night (4701) Bad night (3421)
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  (707): View more from California

  She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.

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  (707): She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed. http://tfl.nu/z812
  Replies (22) Good night (1396) Bad night (4789)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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  (732): Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse. http://tfl.nu/qv1x
  Replies (5) Good night (2712) Bad night (910)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

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  (580): Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me. http://tfl.nu/8lxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2323) Bad night (1211)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.

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  (425): ...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense. http://tfl.nu/ojne
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (561)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm so sick

  (323): View more from California

  I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.

  (310): View more from California

  That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..

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  (310): I'm so sick (323): I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night. (310): That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy.. http://tfl.nu/0aa2
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (1699)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it

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  (413): You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it http://tfl.nu/hn11
  Replies (6) Good night (1101) Bad night (616)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.

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  (808): Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard. http://tfl.nu/xtbf
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (313)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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  (705): Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/ic3x
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (872)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.

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  (330): STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me. http://tfl.nu/p90g
  Replies (2) Good night (212) Bad night (568)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"

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  (727): After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer" http://tfl.nu/pzul
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (354)

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