I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i've created a new STD.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.