Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  toast her oven

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  toast her strudel

  (248): View more from Michigan

  inspect her gadget

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  (248): toast her oven (1-248): toast her strudel (248): inspect her gadget http://tfl.nu/ri0n
  Replies (7) Good night (2500) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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  (863): If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat. http://tfl.nu/9rvo
  Replies (21) Good night (928) Bad night (3656)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1249) Bad night (3498)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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  (806): Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever. http://tfl.nu/07ur
  Replies (9) Good night (4314) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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  (210): I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours. http://tfl.nu/n5xc
  Replies (4) Good night (4051) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr

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  (425): please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr http://tfl.nu/rnxk
  Replies (4) Good night (1780) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(

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  (732): Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :( http://tfl.nu/fasb
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (3062)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2315) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.

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  (503): We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status. http://tfl.nu/0tgg
  Replies (3) Good night (2298) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."

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  (952): I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg." http://tfl.nu/4tux
  Replies (2) Good night (2982) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

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  (970): I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message. http://tfl.nu/3foq
  Replies (6) Good night (1963) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.

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  (501): I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/edkm
  Replies (6) Good night (961) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body

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  (703): I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body http://tfl.nu/blet
  Replies (16) Good night (1051) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".

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  (508): We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them". http://tfl.nu/eeyg
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?

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  (785): Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion? http://tfl.nu/5gnr
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (199)

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